Strengthening Your Energetic Boundaries with Wendy De Rosa

December 08, 2022By Dayna Schmidt-Johnson

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VIDEO TRANSCRIPT:

Dayna Schmidt-Johnson
Hi everyone, welcome. My name is Dayna Schmidt-Johnson. I'm the community manager of the Writual Society as well as the house astrologer. Today we're going to be talking about energetic boundaries, especially at this time of the year when things are so so busy, we're headed into the holidays are energetic boundaries are more important than ever. So to talk about this topic, we have brought in the woman who has literally written the book on the subject, intuitive energy healer, author and founder of the School of Intuitive Studies, Wendy De Rosa. Welcome, Wendy.

Wendy De Rosa
Thank you so much for having me, Dayna.

Dayna Schmidt-Johnson
We're so excited to have you here. Tell us a little bit about you and the work that you do.

Wendy De Rosa
Yeah, so, I'm actually, I'm an intuitive energy healer, which means I look intuitively at what's going on beneath the surface for people using my intuition, and based on whatever they bring forward. And actually, I'm not in private practice anymore. I more trained healers, so I run the School of Intuitive Studies, but I train intuitives and healers and how to support and help people using their intuitive gifts.

Dayna Schmidt-Johnson
Absolutely amazing. How did you get started with empathetic work? Where did all of this begin for you?

Wendy De Rosa
Yeah, so I was I, it started with an issue. Way back when. I knew I was very, very sensitive and very overly sensitive as a child in a big Italian family with seven brothers and sisters. And, and I would, I could just feel everything I could feel everything in the room, I took on a lot of energy. At the time, I was highly intuitive. I did not know that. Nor did I have language for that. But I, it developed into excessive weight as a child and then panic attacks, anxiety, depression, all of which continued through the majority of my adolescence and into my teenage years, to where I started having pretty significant panic attacks and to what I would call a nervous breakdown at 19 years old. And so I at that point, it was coupled with an inner calling, like a gift that was emerging from in within me that I didn't understand. So I had the outer force of you left with I was in college, to stay in college with the inner voice, saying you need to follow the gift. Long story short, I found a healing teacher, I started to understand more about what was going on within me as an intuitive. I started practicing as a healer after studying intuitive healing work. And then, by the time I was 30, pre-social media and actually pre-internet to some degree, I had over 500 clients from word of mouth, and then they wanted to know how to do what I do. So I started teaching classes eventually formed the School of Intuitive Studies, and then training program and such and fast forward. Here we are.

Dayna Schmidt-Johnson
It's such a journey, when you find something that resonates within you, right, and you have to solve your own problem before you can solve other people's in that process. Right? That makes a lot of sense that you would come to it that way. Um, you know, your this work is geared toward empaths, sensitives, and intuitives. How do we know if we fall into that category? You seem to have a really strong story to go along with that. How do we know?

Wendy De Rosa
Yeah, so it's essentially everybody is sensitive. On some level, we are sentient beings. And what's interesting is the empathic bent of the body of the first than the developing the womb, in an empathic sense is one, then of our intuitive that dumb because some people may identify with the word Empath, because they feel the energy of other people. And some people might have other intuitive experiences that might also make them sensitive, but it's not empathic. They might hear things or feel more psychic or feel more mystic or medium or some other aspects of their intuition and they're not necessarily Empath, but it's, it's what I would call people out there that people who come into the world when we all are born, we're born into the sentient experience which means in the womb, we feel everything with how we form bonding, and attachment and connection to each other. And though we are taking in all of our information through the empathic and Clairsentience experience. And then as we sort of develop 1234, we might have other gifts that we've come into this world with, intuitively that start to develop. And so everybody on some level has sensitivity to a degree, and big making big generalizations here. Not everybody is an empath. And some people still are very intuitive and empaths are intuitive. What defines an empath is that what's interesting is empath get thrown in with. I'm an empath, therefore, I take on the energy of others. But there's actually two separate experiences happening. There's the empaths, who feel the energy of others, they might feel the emotion, they might walk into the room and feel the vibe, they might have a conversation and, you know, really feel what the other person is experiencing. Taking on the energy of others is a separate experience. That is when there is something going on in our energy system, in which energy externally crosses our boundary into our system. And we become overly empathic and very difficult to separate out, you know, what is mine versus what's external? Is that my energy is not my energy, are these my emotions, are these not my emotions, we start to have overly empathic experiences and a lot of that experience happens more so because of what's going on in our owns system, not necessarily about the energy out there.

Dayna Schmidt-Johnson
Interesting. So we're - this isn't even about us.

Wendy De Rosa
Yeah, it is and it isn't. Yeah, I mean, it is in that it's not, well, it's not about us in the fact that sometimes that we obviously we walk in the world and there's energy, there's energy all around, we're always going to engage in energy. But what happens for the empath in particular is that we are, we are essentially losing our sense of boundaries. And it has more to do with what's occurring internally, which I'm happy to share a little more about.

Dayna Schmidt-Johnson
Go! Yes, let's hear what's going on internally, then.

Wendy De Rosa
Yeah. So what's important, I think for any sensitive, intuitive, empath to know is that we have an energetic system in our body, the experiences we're having energetically are not necessarily conceptual or mental. Literally, we have a central channel, we have chakras, through our body, we have 72,000 known Meridians through our energetic system, and we have an auric field. And what happens energetically is that, when we have been preconditioned to, we'll say, not necessarily be rooted and grounded in our lower body, the empathic experience and taking on the energy of others had more to do with what's going on from the waist down, than it has to do from the waist up, believe it or not, and here's what happens. When we come into our human experience. And we're born into life from zero to seven years old, we are developing our sense of safety, bonding, attachment and grounding, in our system, in our family system and in the world around us. That is the root chakra area of our body developing provide connection, safety and grounding. Well, I don't know about you, or anyone else listening, but many of us as empaths and sensitives didn't necessarily have the, the the messaging growing up that you're sensitive, your empathic, your intuitive, here's what's going on for you. So let's parent you and work with what's going on. We didn't know no one, you know, that wasn't part of it. And so what happens to our little system is that the Root Chakra actually starts to contract. And when the Root Chakra contracts because we don't feel a sense of belonging, or safety, or if it's okay for me to be me, then the soul start to lift higher in the body and we become highly developed up above, and we start to disconnect from the lower power centers. That highly active up here can definitely increase over sensitivity for some people, but we can become excessive up here, making it very hard for us to have grounded discernment. When we lift up energetically and disconnect from being rooted in our sense of self and knowing, we also make space in the lower half of our body for energetic absorption and for energy to come in and infiltrate the lower chakras because there isn't enough grounding or sense of self in those areas of the body. So part of that shifting of boundaries from the inside out is how do we take a deeper seat in ourselves, become more grounded, re-occupy these lower chakras and find the power in our root chakra and in our femininity, no matter your gender, and in our masculine power, which is also the solar plexus, how do we, how do we reconcile and connect and find, you know, find that power in those areas of the body, and that helps us connect to a deeper sense of self that in which our presence is like step number one, with boundaries. How do we ground and radiate? That is step number one when it comes to energetic boundaries.

Dayna Schmidt-Johnson
Okay, so I can see why it's important to set these energetic boundaries, with what you're talking about, and the upper and the lower, but like, okay, so how do you set an energetic boundary?

Wendy De Rosa
Okay, so, um, we, okay, boundaries, that there, I think of three different types of boundaries, I think of vocal boundary, I need to set vocal boundaries. I need to be able to speak what I need and be able to take responsibility. And those are some forms of boundaries. There's emotional boundaries, I need to own my own emotions. And be clear that you know, what isn't mine, and not take it on. And sometimes knowing how we feel, it helps us in being able to that emotional boundaries. Energetic boundaries are the most, it's the most ambiguous because you don't actually see the energy you feel the energy. And so energetic boundaries means that essentially, my energetic system, I'm just using first person example, my energetic system is grounded and intact, and that the central channel of my body is radiating out in a way where I am taking up space and it supports my chakras, and my sense of self inside myself. So energetic boundaries starts with our own presence and our radiance and our taking up of space. When we do that, it has a direct effect on the auric field. And anyone who's even watching this, you could literally take your hands and rub them together. And then and it might take a few tries, you might not get it right on the first one or you might, but to take your hands out, and then just start to feel where you get sort of a natural stopping point. Like if I it gets more dense, if I get right about here, in my field, I can keep going. But I can sense the density like this feels easier if I get about here feels a little more like there's a there's a push back, that's the outer edge of our auric field and it surrounds our entire body. But if I have been living higher up in the body energetically that might mean lots of mental energy, that might mean a lot of psychic energy might even mean a lot of anxiety, sometimes that we might even check the lower body and find that while my aura when I when I kind of feel down in the lower part of my body, it goes out to the right over here it moves back or it doesn't feel like it's a full, you know, sphere around my body. So when we when we practice the sense of central channel in our body and light flowing through, and that there's the sense of radiance through our system where we take up space in our system, it directly affects the health and well being of the auric field. And at that point -this is perceived what I'm going to talk about - which is that there is literally the field around the body and through our radiance, we're not blowing it out. We're just radiating to the skin. And from from the center to the skin, and then allowing this presence of strong presence around the outside of our body to be intact and clear, energetically. Now, we can practice that over and over and over and over again. And it's really good maintenance tool. It's a really good practice. And I'll say that the book I wrote, talked about why in those lower three chakras, we actually need to do significant energy work to heal and clear and relieve energy so that we can become more embodied and grounded and present in our energetic boundaries. So there's a deeper dive.

Dayna Schmidt-Johnson
Yeah, it's a lot to uncover there. Right? With putting out the boundaries, but figuring out inside first and then moving outward. Is that kind of the idea?

Wendy De Rosa
Yeah, I mean, it depends on what someone needs, the inner work always takes a little longer. Sometimes when we're doing the inner work, and we're practicing that presence of radiance, or we're clearing energy in the lower body, we still might need to put light around us for some protection, it just that the energetic boundary layer if we were just to envision light around ourselves, but we weren't doing the inner work that light is a bandaid. It only lasts for so long. It doesn't - it might help on a maintenance level, but it doesn't shift the inner state of our soul or presence or empowerment, of being able to be embodied as an empath, or sensitive or intuitive.

Dayna Schmidt-Johnson
That makes a lot of sense. So your book, "Becoming an Empowered Empath." It's called "How to clear energy set boundaries and embody your intuition." What's an empowered empath? What's the difference between being an empath and being an empowered one?

Wendy De Rosa
Yeah. So an Empowered Empath would have a would would embrace their emotions, they would embrace their vulnerability and their sensitivity, they have the capacity to have very deep and connected conversations, but they don't take the energy on, they have a strong sense of self, they are grounded in who they are. They are part of the change makers. They are part of the the we consciousness on this planet, meaning they no longer are willing to sit in the non-transparency of life, like let's shove everything under the rug, or let's not talk about what's real or true. They are the wakers and shakers, because they feel it. And so they might end up you know, really, on a global level starting to move evolutionary change because they're not willing to sit in the muck anymore or the inauthenticity, that's the Empowered Empath, and they're not willing to take it on. They might even use their anger and their voice in a, in a clear way, in a way that's more for advocacy or shift or change or things like that. Whereas an empath, who might feel overly empathic feels somewhat debilitated by the energetic experience around them, and that it can feel disempowering and sometimes victimized by energy. And so that that is not the that type of Empath, the overly empathic experience, is not a forever state. And I think people get caught in that sometimes like, I'm an empath, therefore I take on the energy of others, therefore I'm doomed. It's not true. If we get very centered, and we really understand the energetic system, and the energy we hold and how to clear energy it's the game changer. There is a shift to empower empowerment in your in your boundaries.

Dayna Schmidt-Johnson
Yeah, I think a lot of people who identify as empaths almost like, avoid other people because they're like, well, I'm just going to take on all that other energy. Yeah, getting into this space where you can be more empowered about it. Then you like you said, go on to be the change maker of the world.

Wendy De Rosa
Yeah, yeah, you find your gift. That's the other thing is part of our radiance comes from accessing our gifts. And if they're, you know, mine was suppressed. I had a suppressed gift of intuition. As a result, I was oversensitive. I was, I had anxiety. I would you know, you name it. I had a real struggle from being depressed and my gift and once I understood it, and tapped into it and trained it and developed it. Now it can be used in the world as the force of good in the world. I'm not consumed by energy. You know, and I'll say this - sensitive people still need to take care of their energy, but not like your immune, but we aren't debilitated.

Dayna Schmidt-Johnson
Right. You know how to manage it. Right?

Wendy De Rosa
Exactly.

Dayna Schmidt-Johnson
That makes a lot of sense. All right. Now the big question, then can you teach us a little, a little something to help us manage these energetic boundaries? How can we maybe do a little practice? I know, I understand that this is work that takes time. But is there something quick and easy that we can start to do to start to gain some of this perspective?

Wendy De Rosa
Yeah, so I already gave the outward a little tutorial around the auric field, I think I'm going to give more of an inner one now, which is that if you can we'll close our eyes, I close my eyes to do this and so that the tuning in experience, but if you can imagine that from the base of your spine, and your sit bones and your low belly and the back of your spine. There is a beautiful tree trunk. It's a grounding cord. It secures the sides of your hips, and your low belly and low spine extends deep, deep, deep, deep into the earth. And it sprouts roots. Deep into the core. And as we exhale, we can settle our bodies and our legs and our feet a little bit more into the ground. There's a little more of a weighted feeling as the lower body becomes grounded. And then from your tailbone, through your body - it's actually in front of the spine - is this beautiful Meridian called different things in different lineage teaching. I'm calling it here today the central channel and this beautiful central channel is the pathway of your light and lifeforce energy. Divinity, Grace, whatever words you want to use, it's that infinite consciousness in us. And if you can imagine here that this beautiful light is flowing here like a river channel, from the crown of your head to your tailbone. And that above you is the beautiful shower of grace or shower of light. I say grace a lot. You can intend or envision or feel it as light or a flow. And as that flow slows down and your feet are grounded and your hips they're grounded. We'll intend here that that beautiful central channel had an overflow of radiance as if your soul is taking up more space in your body. Like expanding out and any energy that is not yours is being released or pushed out through your expanded radiance. More of you it taking up space internally. And as you radiate out your intention or your light or your soul pushes out that energy and as it pushes it out, out of your skin out of your aura, you know let the energy go back to anyone else that might belong to or may it be sent to the earth for transformation if it's not meant for you to carry or not meant to go back. And you can spend as long as you want here in this type of practice and people spend five or maybe 10 minutes, which is which can be a long time when we sit and allow the radiance the cleansing of your internal energy through the power of your radiance. Cleansing your auric field. When you feel like you've spent enough time in that radiance, you can then envision that a beautiful light surrounds the outside of your auric field. And I like to use the color purple, or violet or lavender for the outer layer of protection. Typically because it tends to be the outer layer color, for people. It's protective in nature. And when we ask for that protection around the outside of our body, we can also ask for it to hug us back a little bit more, like you're getting a hug from your aura. Giving you that sense of your energetic boundaries. And then from your radiance, and the awareness of this boundary layer around your body, you get to decide what you're gonna let cross over into that over that boundary or what you're going to say nope. Anything that isn't in my highest good stays on the outside. And I'm going to make more space for myself. My center, my radiance, my truth, my authenticity, clarity. I hope this practice supports you and may you take it as you need it and practice it if you need more time with it. Take that time and feel what it feels like to radiate as you.

Dayna Schmidt-Johnson
I don't even have words at this point. That was really beautiful. It was funny when you said purple because even before you said that I was already like swirling like pink and purples. I mean, I've been working on stuff that's like pink and purple lately so it was already in my field. But wow, I really feel the grounding in that really feel the connection. That's amazing. And that was a very short period of time that seemed very effective.

Wendy De Rosa
Yeah, absolutely. And I'll say this too, for anyone who's listened and said, Well, I didn't see a color at all, or, you know, I didn't see anything. There are different intuitive there. Some people feel, some people see, some people hear, some people know, we experience our intuition differently. So sometimes just getting a sense of it or a feeling of it, just change the word up and see if it helps give you that sense. Just so you know, there was no yeah, you no one did anything wrong if you didn't see a color. Sometimes we don't the colors, and still we can intend for that protection to be in tact.

Dayna Schmidt-Johnson
Absolutely. Everyone experiences things in slightly different ways. Right?

Wendy De Rosa
Yeah.

Dayna Schmidt-Johnson
Wendy, what do you what do you love about doing this work?

Wendy De Rosa
I know, well, I love seeing people have the AHA internally that's so deep. Like sometimes it is wordless. And that it to me, it's an inner shift. Like we can get it mentally. But when I actually witness the transformation, when people understand the energy in their body, that in itself is like, that's like walking on this planet as a new human being. And it is a game changer. So when I see people have that level of transformation, I'm just like, bow down, I have done my job.

Dayna Schmidt-Johnson
And that you have. Amazing. We're so grateful to have you in this space and to be able to take in this information from you. Thank you so much for today. This has been really enlightening.

Wendy De Rosa
Thank you so much. Great, thank you.

Dayna Schmidt-Johnson
In the meantime, because you are going to be our December teacher in the Writual Society. So we're gonna dive even deeper into this. I cannot wait. Where can people find you and seek you out?

Wendy De Rosa
Yes, so I have actually two websites. I'm the founder of the School of Intuitive Studies.com That's one live intuitive studies.com The other one is my name Wendy De Rosa.com. I'm also on Instagram Wendy De Rosa. The handle just Wendy De Rosa. Same Wendy De Rosa author on Facebook and also School of intuitive studies on Instagram and on Facebook though any of those. And I also have a lot on YouTube. So tons of videos on YouTube if anyone wants to go through the channel and learn a lot.

Dayna Schmidt-Johnson
Yes, we love our YouTube around here. And you can grab the book on Amazon!

Wendy De Rosa
Yeah, you can grab the book and if you like it, feel free to leave a review that really helps too, to know.

Dayna Schmidt-Johnson
Good to know. Well, Wendy, we're so excited to see you again in December, thank you again so much for being here today have a terrific evening.

Wendy De Rosa
Thank you so much you too. Thank you for having me.

Dayna Schmidt-Johnson
Goodbye everyone, thank you so much.